Thursday, June 13, 2013

Oremus, flectamus genua, levate

As soon as something new is invented, particularly in the transport area, and not forgetting the military, the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church feels obliged to compose an appropriate blessing for it.

I am familiar with this phenomenon from my pursuit of local history, where the advent of the railway gave rise to the composition of a very creative blessing. I also remember, from my own youth, the blessing of the Aer Lingus fleet, which I think was an annual event.

Now, the latest obscenity in the eternal war zone is the drone, which ensures that the only bodies on the ground are those of the enemy and his extended family.

I have not, so far, been made aware of the formula for blessing these additions to the Christian arsenal. So, I would like to offer the formulation below, which is in keeping with the style of the railway blessing and also has a slight old testament ring to it.

Blessing for Drones
Priest: Almighty God, bless these drones as they set out on their lonely mission to spread the seeds of destruction and suffering among Your enemies.

May You guide them along their heavenly flight paths through alien skies to their ultimate destinations, where, with the power of Your right hand, they may smite the unbelievers.

May Your divine protection extend to the operators at home base as well as to any proximate collateral Christians.

And may your righteous anger radiate in the target area for ever and ever.

Pater Omnipotens Totius Universi Salvator

1 comment:

  1. Well that went down like a lead balloon in some quarters.

    I have had two responses to the above post within 12 hours of its posting (Hello ECHELON, PRISM and others).

    The first was from the NSA insisting that I take it down on the following grounds: (i) the wording is similar to that currently in use; (ii) it is classified; (iii) it is abusive in that it only classifies POTUS as “saviour” whereas he is actually the “creator” of the New World Order (Novus Ordo Mundi, or the ineffable NOM)

    The second was from the Vatican CDF who also want it taken down on the grounds that it is blasphemous, raising the status of POTUS to that of Almighty God. I am also informed that its posting is an automatic self-excommunicating offence (they're a bit late with that one), and that I am herewith silenced for all time and any indulgences in my divine accound are frozen in perpetuity.

    My word. This is really exciting stuff.