Even the simple crib, a staple of the Christmas Season, is now being dragged into controversy.
If that's the case let me add my own wee bit of fuel to the flames.
You will note the cow, but not the donkey. Well the Pope has apparently conluded that there is no scriptural justification for the animals at the birth of Jesus. So, out with the animals. But, hang on a moment. Before we boot the cow out the door, let us consider the possible consequences. As all good children know, and as can be clearly seen from the Italian plaster cast statues of my youth, Mary does not have breasts. Perish the thought. So that's breastfeeding out. And do we really want Jesus to start life on baby formula? I thought not. So [Northern Unionist expletive deleted] we keep the cow.
My next comment concerns the child's parentage. Snide unbelievers have long mocked the idea of the Virgin Birth and have asserted that Joseph was the biological father. So why, in that case was the child born blond. This is not only a proof of the Virgin Birth, but it shows that the Holy Ghost is a blond, and that is surely good news for all those light hair ladies out there. Indeed, there has recently been speculation about the gender of the selfsame bird.
And if you are still reading this post